Hi. I hope you can help me because I’m so worried about my friend. She has been really quiet lately, and has been sitting by herself at lunch time instead of with our group. She cries all the time and she is always having days off school because she can’t get out of bed. I don’t know what to say to her. Please help me.

Concerned Mate

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Dear Concerned Mate,

It's not always easy to help someone who may be experiencing depression. It can be hard to know what to say or do not wanting to make her uneasy. Here are some helpful tips. Talk to her about how she’s feeling and listen to what she has to say - sometimes, when a person wants to talk, they're not always seeking advice, but just need to talk about their problems and issues. Use open-ended questions such as "What did you do...?" which require more than a 'yes' or 'no' answer. This is a good way to begin a conversation. However if your friend gets angry stay calm because she may be frustrated with herself be firm, fair and consistent and don’t lose control. Often, just spending time with the person lets them know someone cares and understands them. Encourage the person to seek professional help from their family doctor or a mental health worker. Take care of yourself. Supporting someone with depression can be demanding. Family and friends should take 'time out' to look after themselves.

Take care, Rachael from MHCA

I hate my body so much. I’m a 17 year old boy who should be fit and muscly with six-pack abs. I play heaps of sport and I really watch what I eat, but when I look in the mirror, all I see is fat. I have fat on my stomach, fat on my legs, fat on my arms. It’s everywhere and it won’t go away. Sometimes when I’m really hungry, I eat heaps then I feel really guilty and I try to throw it up straight after. And sometimes, I feel so guilty about eating something bad that I don’t eat anything for 3 days. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I have a body like all my other mates in my footy team?

Footy Flab...

Dear Footy Flab,

You are just a teenager who is concerned with the way that you look. What you are doing to yourself is very unhealthy and unsafe. You are becoming a bulimic. Bulimia is a binge eating disorder. Don’t worry about the fat, because all that matters is health if you are healthy, then everything is ok. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a six-pack. If you really want/need a six-pack then try going to the gym, take a friend with you so that you will enjoy it and learn new muscle building exercise. It’s good that you play sport and eat healthily and that’s all the matters. Talk to someone you know and trust, like a close friend, a family member or a doctor, because what you are doing to yourself now can affect you in the future. For more help you can also visit https://au.reachout.com/

Sincerely, Sikha from MHCA.

My real mum and dad died when I was a baby so I was raised by my grandmother. I love her so much, she’s been the best mum in the world to me. She’s always been there for me. Last year she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, so now she has to live in rest home with all these crazy old people. I hate it. I wish I could take care of her but sometimes when I visit her, she doesn’t even know who I am. It makes me so upset and I can’t stop crying afterwards. Why is this happening to me?

Helpless...

Dear Helpless,

I sincerely apologise for your loss of your parents, they will always be with you, looking over you from a better place. As for your grandmother, Alzheimer’s disease is something difficult to face through, but by talking to her about memories from the past and comforting her, it will help her and yourself gradually go through each day as it comes. This will help you reflect on the good memories you have had with grandmother and how you will remember her. I understand what you are going through for I have also lost a close family member due to Alzheimer’s disease. Remember that, you can’t think of this as a problem caused by you, you have nothing to do with what has happened. Enjoy life and spend as much time going out with your family and friends to take your mind off of everything, but still visit your grandmother every day and let her enjoy life as well.

Kind regards, Natalie from MHCA.